Here’s the deal — we all have secret sexual fantasies. We might not act on all of them (that’s what separates fantasy from reality, after all), but simpatic.us wants to at least give us a space to share them. The website asks you and your partner to individually answer 170 questions about your sexual fantasies, then compares the results, listing only the activities the couple agrees on (so if an interest or activity is not shared, it’s not on the report).
Talking about your sexual fantasies with your partner is healthy, even if you don’t necessarily share them or want to act on them.
“I regularly encourage people to share their fantasies with their partner. What can seem awkward at first may lead to some explosive experimentation — you just need to get the conversation started,” says Emily Morse, sexologist and host of the Sex With Emily podcast.
That’s why we asked simpatic.us to poll 2,700 users about their most common sexual fantasies. Here’s their exclusive data for Men’s Health, just in time for Valentine’s Day. Who knows? This article might just be the icebreaker you’ve been waiting for.
1) Talking dirty
Nearly 81% of women said they wanted their partner to talk dirty more often during sex.
“The brain is your most powerful sex organ, and dirty talk is a creative way to stimulate it,” Morse says.
Dirty talk isn’t just liberating, it’s also a great way to amp up the conversation about consent.
“Saying what feels good to you as it’s happening will lead to comfort with asking for more of it. ‘Your hand feels great there,’ or ‘I love the way you look in that position’ can be all you need to get the ball rolling. Pay attention to how your partner reacts, and gradually ramp things up,” Morse advises.
2) Going to a strip club
Yup, you read that right: nearly 70% of women said they were interested in going to a strip club with their partner. Strip clubs have a unique and intense sexual energy, so if you and your partner are up for it, going together can make for a hot date night.
“For a lot of couples, hitting a strip club is kind of like a safe way to explore a threesome without all the hassle. The taboo of watching your partner—or having them watch you—being teased by a stranger can be great foreplay,” says Morse.
3) Using a remote-controlled sex toy
63% of women said they fantasised about using remote-controlled sex toys, while 44% said they wanted their partners to operate remote-controlled sex toys in public.
“Giving a partner control over your pleasure is incredibly stimulating,” says Morse.
Products like the JIVE by We-Vibe allow you to control a wearable vibrator via a smartphone app.
“The risk that you might be caught doing something sexual in your everyday environment is a classic turn-on, and it’s heightened by the anticipation that comes with leaving your sexual fate in someone else’s hands,” Morse says. Just be careful not to use it while you’re on a conference call.
4) Being blindfolded
58% of women said they fantasised about being blindfolded during sex. “Besides the sexiness of trust and dominance, being blindfolded amplifies everything else,” says Morse. “All of a sudden, unexpected touches and kisses create waves of pleasure that can turbo-charge arousal. And the anticipation of what’s coming next can be enough to drive you over the edge.”Just be sure to check in with her periodically and make sure she’s comfortable with what you’re doing.
This article originally appeared on Men’s Health
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