As any gal who’s ventured onto Tinder or OKCupid knows, that first message is daunting. Should you lead with a compliment? A simple “Hey, how are you?”
To find out, the dating site Plenty of Fish asked more than 1,000 people who had met their spouses online what their first message said.
Your best bet: Mention something specific in his profile, like his Raiders T-shirt or your shared obsession with Game of Thrones. Nearly 20 percent of the women surveyed said their husbands used this trick.
That doesn’t include comments on his appearance, like “You have beautiful eyes.” Only 9 percent of the marriages started that way.
“My profile described my deep love of grotesque horror films,” says Cat, a 36-year-old writer from Columbus, Ohio. One guy sent her a link to an upcoming scary movie marathon, which became their first date.
They hit it off, and now are hitched.
Kaitlyn, a 32-year-old grad student in New York City, could tell she and her fiancé had a lot in common when he referenced her literature Ph.D. program in his OKCupid introduction.
“He asked me what time period of literature I studied and told me about his thesis in literature,” she says. “He was clearly smart and focused on what we had in common.”
So scour his profile for a quirk or hobby that intrigues you. Beyond how great he looks in those jeans.
If his username references a band, see what he thinks of their latest album. Or if he’s wearing a Mets tank in one of his photos, ask him out to a game. It just might be your last first date.
This article originally appeared on Men’s Health.
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